Hope I see Hope

So, last weekend Hope was supposed to come and visit me, but unfortunately family issues prevented her from coming over for the weekend. Fortunately, she should be coming into town on Saturday. We'll have plenty of time together to help me forget Dawn.

Dawn is Out of my Life

My heart is broken, but as of now (and probably the foreseeable future) Dawn is out of my life. We had a falling out around her birthday, and ever since then we haven't spoken. It's been very rough for me, because in many ways Dawn is my fantasy become reality. I'm hoping that this "phase" will pass, but knowing what I know I'm beginning to doubt it. Perhaps this is where I went wrong, I'll never know. I've always known our relationship to be "mainly about sex." Yet, (just like all things in life) I wanted her to be a part of my everyday life. Before anyone asks, the "falling out" wasn't (necessarily) about this issue. However, perhaps it was a slow build-up? I want to know, but I'm afraid that I'll never know.

Of course, I have other FWBs and lovers, but Dawn has always been "the one" to me. I'm hoping I'll be able to get over her, but part of me wonders if I ever will.

I miss the way she kisses me.
I miss the way her skin feels.
I miss the sound of her voice.
I miss the way she smells.
I miss her smile.
I miss her terribly.

Dawn is the closest I've been in love in 17 years. Hell, I'll just say it. I love her. I always will.

I'm trying to move on, put a smile on my face, but my closest friends have even noticed my unhappiness. All I can say is "I'm fine." Hopefully, I'll be seeing two other FWBs, both whom I haven't mentioned before on this blog, this weekend. One of the FWBs I'll be seeing on Friday as a "date." The other one (who now lives in a completely different state) is visiting, but only for (yummy) sex. The one who lives in another state (I'll call her Hope) is friends with Belle. Belle introduced Hope to me during a threesome a long time ago. Anyway, I'm "hoping" (no pun intended) that Hope's prescense will cheer me up.

Barberella: The Voluptuous

Typically, I'm attracted to curvy but thin women, but I recently have been seeing Barb who is rather voluptuous. She isn't heavy, but she is definitely "big-boned." So, I guess you could say that she doesn't fall into who I'm normally attracted to, but as soon as we grew comfortable with each other I became very drawn to her.

Barb is actually a good friend of Dawn, and we had all actually gone out together for drinks. We all had a grand time, and both Barb & Dawn were getting a bit tipsy. The bar was a typical "hole in the wall" that served up decent margaritas and tequilla shots which (of course) we all enjoyed. After a period of time, Dawn mentioned to me that she really needed to go home. Dawn had obviously drank way too much and was starting to pass-out. Barb & I took Dawn home where I tucked her in and kissed her softly on her lips. Just as I was about to leave, Dawn grabbed my arm and mumbled: "Sorry baby, I really wanted to spend the night."

"It's ok." I said.

Dawn then mumbled something that I couldn't quite understand: "Mrghmmmm bmmmg jealous."

"What?" I inquired.

"Make me jealous." She mumbled.

"What do you mean baby?" I replied.

"Barb wants you. I've been telling her about you, so I want you to have fun with her so that she can make me jealous."

"Ok..." This is the first time Dawn has opened up to me like this. Then again, it could have just been the liquor, but normally she's always been very open about our relationship -- it's mainly only about sex.

"I want her to tell me tomorrow what you did to her, so that I can get jealous and attack you." She responded.

I was a bit off-guard and definitely didn't know how to respond, but I knew she had to get some water in her and into bed. I kissed her softly on her lips and tucked her into bed.

"Good night baby" I whispered. Dawn lumbered off into dream land. She looked so peaceful and she softly breathed in and out deeply, slowly drifting into deep sleep.

I left her apartment and hopped into my car. Barb smiled at me as I revved the car's engine. She looked as if she was going to say something but stopped herself. I then said: "What were you about to say?"

"Nothing. Just thought it was nice of you to tuck in Dawn, you really care about her don't you?"

"I do. She's wonderful." I smiled.

I headed towards her home to drop her off. Barb was silent as I drove her home, but occasionally would look at me. We reached her driveway and put the car into park. Barb opened her side of the door and said: "I know it's late, but I was wondering if you would like to come in and smoke a little?"

"It is late and definitely need to get some rest, but thank you very much." I replied.

"Oh, please, it won't take that long. Besides, I know you'll take a hit of weed before you go to bed anyway."

I sighed. I knew what would happen if I went in. Additionally, even though Dawn wanted me to, I just wasn't really in a horny mood.

Barb interrupted before I could say anything: "I've got some great stuff. It'll only take one or two hits. Come on, you'll sleep like a baby."

"It'll have to be quick, because honestly I'm dead tired." I said back. Barb smiled widely as if she had won some sort of prize. I opened my side of the door and headed towards her home. Barb unlocked the door and let me in.

Cravings

It's weird. I've really been thinkin' a lot about Belle, and I'm truly wondering why. I mean compared to Dawn she isn't even 1/2 as attractive, fucks as well, or connect with me. Yet, I've been really desiring her. I think it's because of our last time together. The sex was spectacular. I still remember feeling her cunt spasm around my cock as she orgasmed on me while riding me. Phenomenal.

Ultimately, Dawn is my all-time favorite. It's partially b/c I have feelings for her and want to make her happy. With Belle, it's all about sex. Pure nasty sex, and I have to say that this is where Belle excels over Dawn. Dawn simply isn't the nasty type. Sure, there are times she wants me to spank her and just dominate her, but overall Belle wants that from me all the time. She wants me to fuck her nasty. She wants me to cum in her mouth and her cunt. She wants me to fuck her like the nasty whore she is. She wants me to treat her like a slut, and she loves it when I talk nasty to her.

I've also known Belle a lot longer than I've known Dawn. Belle, as I've stated earlier, is an on and off again "friends with privilages" woman in my life. There will be a couple of months where we never talk to each other, and other times where we're having sex nearly every night or every other night. There is a sexual energy about us, Belle has commented numerous times on the "sexual energy" that we have between us. I have to agree. Belle loves that I take advantage of this. So, we usually fuck hard and fuck for a long time.

Damn, now I'm getting really horny.

Cajun Sam

I have to introduce someone new in my life, Sam. I've only known Sam for about 2 months (or so), but I can already tell that she's fallen for me. Funny enough, I actually met her through Dawn, and we hit it off immediately. We had an immediate sexual attraction to each other. Sam looks as if she were Dawn's older sister, and when they are together they act like they are sisters. Sam is a slightly older and bustier version of Dawn. Both are very tall (I'm very attracted to tall women), and both have dark raven-black hair. Hey, what can I say? I'm into dark haired women. And yes, that little teeny tiny clip to the left is a pict of her. I just won't reveal more of her for her own privacy.

Besides the whole "sexual attraction" thing, we had an instant connection due to our love of food. I love to cook, and I love to eat well. I'm part of the philosophy that believes that they're is no such thing as "bad food" as long as it is well prepared. Sam is definitely on the same page with me on this. She went on and on about her love for gumbo and low-country cuisine. Apparently, Sam can make a killer gumbo. I'll have to take her up on this offer.

Sexually speaking, Sam is very different from Dawn. Sam clearly is proud of her breasts. She does have perfect all-natural breasts. Where Dawn is around 34B, Sam is at around 36D. In private, Dawn has told me many times how jealous she is over Sam's breasts. I always say in response that I'm not a breasts guy (I'm really not), I'm an "ass and legs" man. However, I can't but help always notice Sam's virtually perfect breasts. They are a sight to behold.

Anyway, sex with Sam is a wonderful experience, but (much like Belle) not "life-altering" like it is with Dawn. With Sam, I would say we relate more outside of the bedroom than we do during sex. It's amazing, don't get me wrong just not the "end all/be all."

Cascading Roses

(Note: here's the actual story behind the last post.)

"Lie back and close your eyes." I whispered.

Dawn chuckles softly and closes her eyes. I look over the side of my bed for the small plastic bag containing rose petals. I reach for it, but catch Dawn peeking.

"No peeking!" I growled. She immediately shut her eyes. My hand still held onto the bag which I quietly opened. The rose petals' smell caught my nose: fresh and perfumey, despite being just petals. My hand reached in and I pulled out a small handfull of petals.

"Keep your eyes closed." I ordered.

"Ok," she chuckled. "What are you doing?"

Right at that moment, I held my hand high above her naked body and released the rose petals. They cascaded like snowflakes out of my hand and floated onto her bare naked skin. She shivered in delight. Dawn knew exactly what they were but was estatic when she opened her eyes.

"They're so gorgeous!" She exclaimed. "No one's ever done that to me before."

I grinned, but didn't say a word. I cascaded more roses all over her as she writhed in pleasure letting out a soft moan. She leaned up to me and kissed me deeply. Her soft wet lips against mine, our tongues lightly brushing against each other. She closed her eyes once more, and I took one of the petals in my hand. I slowly ran the petal along her body, purposely avoiding her nipples and clitoris. She writhed and moaned. Her body softly shook as i glided the petal along her soft skin.

Dawn bit her bottom lip the closer I reached her cunt, and in pleasured frustration moaned as I avoided her clit. I moved the petal up along her body and encircled her breasts. Unconsciously, she moved her body towards the petal, begging me to rub the petal against her erect nipples. I teased her more, and moved the petal away from her breasts. Her body shifted as she became more anxious. Her breaths became deeper. She leaned up to kiss me and my lips barely ran across hers as I continued to move the petal down to her wetness - avoiding her clitoris once more. The closer I moved towards her cunt, the wider she spread herself. I continued to tease, moving the petal along her cuntlips as her body shook. Still, I avoided her clitoris.

Her body now compressed and depressed as she breathed heavier and heavier. The rose petal that I clung to continue to tease her body. Her skin stood up almost begging me to acquiesce. The rose petal glided slowly around her breast. I moved closer and closer to her nipple, and it almost seemed as if her nipple pulsated. I slowly moved the petal over her nipple, and she arched her back immediately. The petal circled her erect nipple in soft circles round and round. She writhed desperately beneath me.

Dawn's breaths became deeper as her chest rose and fell. The rose petal teasingly circling her erect nipples. Her eyes were shut tight and her teeth bit the bottom of her lip. I then took the rose petal and slowly ran it down her supple body. Dawn unconciously spread her legs as I ran the petal in the space between her cunt and her inner thigh.

She gasped and shook slightly. She smiled knowing that I was about to give up on teasing yet. The petal circled along her inner thighs and up her long legs. Goose bumps flooded her soft skin and she continued to hold her legs apart. Waiting patiently.

I moved the petal back towards her pussy and she began to breath faster and heavier. The petal so close to her cuntlips, yet so far she writhed against me. She was desperate.

"Please. Please touch me baby." She begged.

"Not yet." I said softly. I carressed her hair. My fingers running through her raven-like soft hair. I continued to explore with the rose petal so close to her cunt, yet so far away. The petal moving along the fold between her leg and her hip. She groaned and writhed. It's one of her "spots." She's so deliciously ticklish and sexually sensistive there. I moved the petal along her mons, then to the other side.

By this time, she held her legs wide apart. And, by this time, even I wanted to move down and fulfill her. I casually set aside the petal, and moved between her legs. I began licking where the rose petal was before. Licking along the fold between her leg and her hip. My hand grasped one of her legs spreading her wider apart.

She could feel my hot breath against her skin and began breathing more rapidly. My breaths became heavier and deeper, and my cock was pulsating against the bed. My hands spread her legs wider apart, and I knew she wanted me. I knew she wanted me to dive between her legs and make her cum.

My tongue ran along her outer lips. I looked up at her and saw her head was arched back. Her mouth agape and breathing heavily. My hands spread her cunt apart and I could see her inside pulsating. Fully in need. My tongue continued to lick around her, and purposely avoiding her clitoris. Teasingly, my entire mouth went over her clit but kept from touching her pulsating clit. I merely breathed my hot air against her clit. She arched her back even further. I spread her cunt apart even more as my tongue traveled between her lips. I slowly encircled her pulsating opening with my wet tongue. I felt her slightly squeezing around my tongue as I penetrated her.

I couldn't hold out any more. My wide tongue slid from her opening all the way up to her clit and she gasped aloud. My tongue slowly encircled her entire clit, rotating round and round on her sensitive erect clit. I continued to hold her legs wide part and she ran her fingers through my hair. I took the widest part of my tongue and began licking in an up and down fashion along her entire clit. My head bobbing up and down along her clit. Her gasps became louder and her body shaking and quivering. I knew she was about to cum.

I held off. I didn't want her to cum so soon. However to satiate her, I sucked on my fingers and slowly slipped in 2 of my fingers deep inside of her. I could feel her almost hot wetness pulsating in desperation around my fingers. I began pulsating my fingers back against her gspot. Once again, I began licking up and down along her entire clit. Her cunt squeezing and releasing around my fingers. My fingers continued to pulse against her gspot as I felt it's swollen ridges against my fingertips. Her body quivers and I take her entire clit into my mouth. I begin to suck on her clit while the tip my tongue flutters around her fully erect clitoris. This completely takes Dawn over the edge as she writhes and pulsates madly around my finger and mouth.

Dawn's legs squeeze tightly around my head as my tongue continues to flutter over her erect clitoris. Her cunt muscles tighten and release, tighten and release, again and again around my two fingers. Dawn unconciously reaches up and grasps the bed railing as her body trembles around me.

The continual stimulation around her throbbing clitoris is too much for her. I slowly withdraw my fingers and tongue. Her body shaking slightly, eyes closed, breathing heavily, she mutters: "You know how to make me cum. Sometimes too fast."

I don't give her anytime to recover or say anything further. My cock begins to run between her swollen cuntlips and overly sensitive clitoris. She gasps as I run my cock against her clit and lenas up to me kissing me deeply. She looks directly into my eyes as my cock continues to ride along her wetness and clit.

"Please, fuck me." She begs. "I need your dick."

I slowly push my cock inside of her. Her wetness lick liquid velvet wrapped around my throbbing member. She gasps as each inch of my cock penetrates her and her legs spread wider the deeper I push into her. Her eyes staring into mine as my cock is completely engulfed by her cunt. Dawn holds her legs wide open for me and feels my cock pulsating inside of her. She breathes deeply and closes her eyes as she feels me alive inside and grinds against me. Our lips meet again and our tongues lightly dance against and around each other. I slowly begin to withdraw, but the moment my cock is almost out of her, I thrust hard and completely into her.

"I love it when you do that." She gasps. My cock slowly withdraws again, but this time thrusting short quick strokes in and out of her. I then completely penetrate her again. Dawn's neck arches back, and I look straight at her closed eyes. My hands wrap around her head and my fingers run through her raven-like hair. My head then rests against her shoulder and neck.

My cock slowly penetrates in and out of her. I feel her cunt tighten around me and her wetness warm and silk-like. I again completely penetrate her and slowly withdraw. Again, my cock thrusts in short quick strokes, and deeply penetrates her at the last possible moment. She lets out a deep grunt. Her cunt literally massages and strokes around my throbbing cock. Her wetness is almost too wet as my cock dives in and out of her wetness. The slick and squishy sounds fill the room.

"I love hearing your cock move in and out of me" she whispers. My hands continue to move through her soft hair and around her face and neck. My thrusts are slow as I continue to rotate my hips against hers. Occasionally, (like before), I'll surprise her by thrusting hard and deep into her.

"My cock never wants to leave your cunt baby." I whispered in her ear.

She smiles, breathing heavily: "I love the way you make me cum."

My hands grasp each of her legs holding her spread wide open and I begin penetrating deeply and hard into her.

Dawn's eyes stare directly into mine as my cock penetrates hard and deep inside of her. I feel her cunt pulsate around my member, and I lean forward kissing her deeply. Our tongues deeply entwined in our mouths. My arms strain as they continue to hold her wide open. I look into her eyes, and she looks back at me with urgency and desire. Her chest is lightly coated with her perspiration, and her fingers run through my hair.

"You're so hard and deep inside of me baby." She whispers. The sound of my cock thrusting hard and deep inside of her fills the room. Her wetness is almost overwhelming. We smile at the sound of her wetness and our fucking.

I lean back and close her legs tightly together. Both of my arms wrap around her legs as I hold them together and rest them on my left shoulder. Dawn arches her back slightly and gasp as the closing of her legs tightens her cunt muscles around my cock even more. I begin fucking harder and faster. My free hand begins massaging her fully erect clitoris. Dawn arches her back even more as my cock pounds into her in an upward fashion - directly onto her gspot. My thumb encircles her large clitoris, and I begin feeling her entire body trembling and shaking. Suddenly, her cunt begins to spasm around my cock and her cunt juice spills out of her and onto the bed. The room sounds like a hand slapping against a wet towel.

Dawn's fingers tangles her hair as her eyes roll to the back of her head. She begins to scream and shake madly. I can't hold back anymore and thrust deeply inside of her spilling my cum deep insider of her. I grunt loudly as I orgasm and collapse onto her still inside of her, pulsating.

We kiss deeply and hold each other. The scent of roses mixed with sex fill the room. She smiles at me and kisses me again.

A Scattering of Roses

Belle and I have great sex, but my sexual "soulmate" has got to be Dawn. I've known Dawn for a little over a year now, and there's not a moment when I don't crave for her. I am not sure what it is, but everything she does brings me to complete ecstasy. The way we kiss each other. Her soft, wet lips teasing mine. Her touch electrifies. Her pussy owns my cock. Yes, I'm enamored by her, but I remind myself that our friendship is primarily a sexual one.

Dawn knows about my feelings towards her and deep inside I know that we'll never be a "couple." I've resigned myself to this fact and moved on. My experience has taught me that you can't force this issue - no matter how hard you try. In any case, the sex always makes me forget and live "in the moment" with Dawn.

Occasionally, I notice glimmers from Dawn that she does want more between us, but I always feel that something is holding her back. Is it her past history (she used to be an escort)? Is it the continual pull of her unattentive boyfriend? I have no idea and wish I did.

The other day, I came to the realization that besides sex I really know very little about Dawn. I know that she has one sister and one brother. I know she loves sushi, but never orders for herself. Dawn loves earrings, "boy-short" style panties, chocolate, smoking good pot, and fishing. We know each other's bodies so well. Both of us can set each other off with a mere touch. I know when she's going to cum, and she knows just the right way to squeeze around me.

I am crazy about her, but I try to remain restrained. However, the other day I decided to give her a shower of rose petals. I told her to lie back and close her eyes tightly. I then cascaded rose petals all over her beautiful naked body. She gasped when she felt the cool petals flutter onto her soft smooth skin. The way she shivered and moaned when I ran a single rose petal all over her. Simply exquisite. Trust me when I say this, but we had the best lovemaking time ever. The way we made each other cum - we both nearly passed out.

(Sighs) I need her now.