Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Hope I see Hope
So, last weekend Hope was supposed to come and visit me, but unfortunately family issues prevented her from coming over for the weekend. Fortunately, she should be coming into town on Saturday. We'll have plenty of time together to help me forget Dawn.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Dawn is Out of my Life
My heart is broken, but as of now (and probably the foreseeable future) Dawn is out of my life. We had a falling out around her birthday, and ever since then we haven't spoken. It's been very rough for me, because in many ways Dawn is my fantasy become reality. I'm hoping that this "phase" will pass, but knowing what I know I'm beginning to doubt it. Perhaps this is where I went wrong, I'll never know. I've always known our relationship to be "mainly about sex." Yet, (just like all things in life) I wanted her to be a part of my everyday life. Before anyone asks, the "falling out" wasn't (necessarily) about this issue. However, perhaps it was a slow build-up? I want to know, but I'm afraid that I'll never know.
Of course, I have other FWBs and lovers, but Dawn has always been "the one" to me. I'm hoping I'll be able to get over her, but part of me wonders if I ever will.
I miss the way she kisses me.
I miss the way her skin feels.
I miss the sound of her voice.
I miss the way she smells.
I miss her smile.
I miss her terribly.
Dawn is the closest I've been in love in 17 years. Hell, I'll just say it. I love her. I always will.
I'm trying to move on, put a smile on my face, but my closest friends have even noticed my unhappiness. All I can say is "I'm fine." Hopefully, I'll be seeing two other FWBs, both whom I haven't mentioned before on this blog, this weekend. One of the FWBs I'll be seeing on Friday as a "date." The other one (who now lives in a completely different state) is visiting, but only for (yummy) sex. The one who lives in another state (I'll call her Hope) is friends with Belle. Belle introduced Hope to me during a threesome a long time ago. Anyway, I'm "hoping" (no pun intended) that Hope's prescense will cheer me up.
Of course, I have other FWBs and lovers, but Dawn has always been "the one" to me. I'm hoping I'll be able to get over her, but part of me wonders if I ever will.
I miss the way she kisses me.
I miss the way her skin feels.
I miss the sound of her voice.
I miss the way she smells.
I miss her smile.
I miss her terribly.
Dawn is the closest I've been in love in 17 years. Hell, I'll just say it. I love her. I always will.
I'm trying to move on, put a smile on my face, but my closest friends have even noticed my unhappiness. All I can say is "I'm fine." Hopefully, I'll be seeing two other FWBs, both whom I haven't mentioned before on this blog, this weekend. One of the FWBs I'll be seeing on Friday as a "date." The other one (who now lives in a completely different state) is visiting, but only for (yummy) sex. The one who lives in another state (I'll call her Hope) is friends with Belle. Belle introduced Hope to me during a threesome a long time ago. Anyway, I'm "hoping" (no pun intended) that Hope's prescense will cheer me up.
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